why my job is awful

This is why my job is awful. This is why my workplace sucks a big one.

First, I'd like to entertain you with a story about one of my top 5 fears. After inadvertantly witnessing an episode of Jack Ass, when Steve-o got paper cuts to the corners of his mouth, I began seeing visions of me getting paper cuts to oddly placed parts of my body. Mostly on my face. Now in my office, at everybody's door there is a plastic "mailbox" that is perfectly sized to fit a regular piece of printer paper in it the long way, landscape if you will. But people insist on throwing in paper the OTHER way, so that paper hangs over the edge in a lovely curved shape. These mailboxes are almost ALWAYS at eye level, and so comes my fear; PAPER CUTS TO MY EYE BALLS. I know, out there, but FEARS ARE MOSTLY IRRATIONAL!

Now to why my office needs a GD facelift in every way possible. There is one mailbox outside the cube of a woman who is "no longer here" (wink wink- we're broke and she was dead weight). One of her apparent jobs was to bring a worksheet from person A to person B. But now, person A still puts that report in the woman who isn't here's mailbox. And everyday when I walk to fill up my glass with water, or go to the bathroom I walk past this paper hanging over the edge of the mailbox waiting to paper cut me in the eye ball!!!

Let me point out, that the distance from this mailbox to person B's office is 27 steps. 27 STEPS!! I just counted! Why Person A can't walk the GD 27 steps to person B's office is BEYOND ME. I made up a diagram of the office situation.

need.new.job.pronto

All I ask is that I have a job that fills all of these requirements:

1. Do not have a rigid dress code
2. Keeps me busy/running around all day so that I (a) don't snack throughout, and I DO mean throughout the entire day and (b) Am worn out by the end of the day that my caffeine fix from 9a.m. doesn't keep my up and tossing around in bed.
   
3. Has an end and means that are both creative and/or utilize my creativity.
   
4. Doesn't give me shit if I want to take off one Friday a month for myself OR works me hard for 2-3 weeks straight including weekends, then gives me a full week off.
   

I'm being totally serious when I ask, IS THIS UNATTAINABLE???

Shit I hope not. I'm going to have to start working in film again. I'm hard wired for it. There is no way around it.

Disney Princess---I better be a good one!!!!

Cinderella:
[ ] One of your parents is dead
[x] You are expected to do a lot of chores
[x] You love to dress up
[x] You love animals
[ ] You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming
[] Your mom is really strict
[ ] You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you
[] You’re afraid to speak your mind sometimes
[] You have left your shoes at a friend’s house before
[ ] You have blonde hair
TOTAL: 3

Belle:
[] You speak French
[]You’ve been lost in the forest
[x] You love to read
[ x] You are not afraid to speak your mind
[] One of your family members is a bit weird
[x] You have done volunteer work
[x] You have a wild imagination
[x] You love to take care of people in need
[ x] You’ve had guys like you only because they think you’re pretty
[x] You’ve rejected at least one person when they’ve asked you out
TOTAL: 7

Jasmine:
[] Your dad is very rich/important
[x ] You are very clever
[ x] You’ve been with someone way different from you
[x] You’re unique and different from everyone else
[x] You’d never marry someone just because they were rich
[x] You have set a lot of goals for yourself
[ ] You don’t have a lot of friends
[x]You’re independent
[ ] You are wealthy
[x]Your parents try to control your life
TOTAL: 7

Ariel
[x] Your parents expect a lot from you
[] You really try to follow the rules, but it’s hard for you
[] You’re a bit of a trouble maker
[x ] You’re the youngest in your family or in the last 2
[] You have a lot of sisters (3 or more)
[x] You collect something
[] You have/had long, hair
[x] You have/had a pet fish
[] You’re extremely curious
[] You believe everything people tell you/you’re a bit gullible
TOTAL: 4

Snow White
[x ] You know that you’re beautiful
[ ] Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you
[ ] You’ve almost been killed
[ x] You have at least seven good friends
[x] You’ve had food poisoning
[x] You have/had short hair
[x] You get along with almost everyone
[x] All of your friends are different
[x] You love to have a good time
[ ] You’re happier when you’re out of the house than in
TOTAL: 7

Mulan
[] You can be a tomboy sometimes.
[ ] People wish you could be a bit more girly
[] You’ve pretended to be someone you’re not
[] You’ve had a physical fight with someone
[x] You have/had considered running away from home
[] Your parents try to plan your life out
[x] a lot of your friends are boys
[ ] You sometimes find yourself in bad situations
[x] You love your family so much that you’d do anything to protect them
TOTAL: 3

Aurora
[x] You live/have lived with someone other than your parents
[ ] You almost died at a very young age
[x] You are gentle, loving, and/or thoughtful
[x] You have a decent singing voice
[] You like to sleep in late on the weekends
[ ] You spend most of your time outside
[ ] You’re adopted
[x] You’re very romantic
[] Pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL: 4


Pocahontas
[x] You love to walk around and explore big cities
[x] You are more spiritual than religious
[] You’ve been in an interracial relationship
[] One of your family members is dead (mom, dad, sister, brother, grandma, grandpa)
[] Your parents are very protective of you
[x] Someone you know has been in war
[x] You love nature
[x] You have/had black hair
[x] You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful
[x] You’re very adventurous
TOTAL: 7

Well that was a bust. I'm Belle Jasmine Snow White Pocahontas. How's that for a long name!