The Jew and the Carrot

For a long time I've been a Jew and a Carrot. A Jew that is interested in sustainable living and one who starts sweating with rage when she see's a petite soccer mom in an empty Hummer (ie: only one child to tote around).

I FOUND MY BIBLE!

www.jcarrot.org

I urge you to check it out and sent them props. (oy, how terribly 90's of me)

This is me, Happy.

Check it out chaverim!

This woman makes me ill

http://www.cnn.com/video/?iref=videoglobal
The video title is "Charging overweight fliers"


I'm so sick of people NOT taking responsibility for themselves. If you're too fat to fit into an airline seat, YOU either need to buy another seat next to you, or LOSE the weight. This woman, KATE HARDING, fully expects the airline companies to spend MILLIONS of dollars to "retrofit" the airplanes so that people who don't care about their own health and appearance have seats big enough for their fat asses. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE

Lose weight America! and stop complaining when its in YOUR power to change the outcome of certain situations such as this one.

Obsessed

http://heebmagazine.com/hijinx

I love this

New fave Youtube Sensation

This girl rocks my world. SHE NEEDS A RECORD DEAL! I would buy her albums even in a recession!!!!!

Her name is Meghan Tonjes. She's been doing covers of popular songs with her own twist. I love her voice and I love that she made me love this Britney song on a whole other level!

Spring and bike accidents are in the air

Minnesota is an outdoorsy kind of place. Once the sun comes out, even if it's only 50 degrees out, that's enough for many people. Today, I was on the bus on my way to work. We were waiting at a light to turn left and a couple of cars ahead of us there was a bike rider in the left turn lane too. We all turn, with not problem. Then almost immediately we make a right turn, so does she. But we're not following her anymore because we stop to pick someone up. Then, we pull up to the light and she is on the ground picking up her bike. There was one of those police vans across the street so he drove over and asked her if she was alright and needed any help, she shook her head and waved her hand as if to say "no no I'm fine, don't worry about me". Of course, I'm speculating because I was in the bus and couldn't hear her. Then she walked her bike across the street and she was limping.

SO SAD!

I mean, look, I'm not only a pedestrian but I'm also a driver, so I advocate for responsibility on both sides. If you're a driver, slow down around bikes and if you're a bike rider, ride closer to the sidewalk so you don't slow down traffic and DON'T pretend as though city buses won't kill you. I've been on buses so many times when we've jerked to a stop because a bike ZIPPED between the bus and the curb, when they ride that fast, the bus driver can't see them!


anyway, The bus I was in did NOT hurt that girl today, and I hope she is ok.

why my job is awful

This is why my job is awful. This is why my workplace sucks a big one.

First, I'd like to entertain you with a story about one of my top 5 fears. After inadvertantly witnessing an episode of Jack Ass, when Steve-o got paper cuts to the corners of his mouth, I began seeing visions of me getting paper cuts to oddly placed parts of my body. Mostly on my face. Now in my office, at everybody's door there is a plastic "mailbox" that is perfectly sized to fit a regular piece of printer paper in it the long way, landscape if you will. But people insist on throwing in paper the OTHER way, so that paper hangs over the edge in a lovely curved shape. These mailboxes are almost ALWAYS at eye level, and so comes my fear; PAPER CUTS TO MY EYE BALLS. I know, out there, but FEARS ARE MOSTLY IRRATIONAL!

Now to why my office needs a GD facelift in every way possible. There is one mailbox outside the cube of a woman who is "no longer here" (wink wink- we're broke and she was dead weight). One of her apparent jobs was to bring a worksheet from person A to person B. But now, person A still puts that report in the woman who isn't here's mailbox. And everyday when I walk to fill up my glass with water, or go to the bathroom I walk past this paper hanging over the edge of the mailbox waiting to paper cut me in the eye ball!!!

Let me point out, that the distance from this mailbox to person B's office is 27 steps. 27 STEPS!! I just counted! Why Person A can't walk the GD 27 steps to person B's office is BEYOND ME. I made up a diagram of the office situation.

need.new.job.pronto

All I ask is that I have a job that fills all of these requirements:

1. Do not have a rigid dress code
2. Keeps me busy/running around all day so that I (a) don't snack throughout, and I DO mean throughout the entire day and (b) Am worn out by the end of the day that my caffeine fix from 9a.m. doesn't keep my up and tossing around in bed.
   
3. Has an end and means that are both creative and/or utilize my creativity.
   
4. Doesn't give me shit if I want to take off one Friday a month for myself OR works me hard for 2-3 weeks straight including weekends, then gives me a full week off.
   

I'm being totally serious when I ask, IS THIS UNATTAINABLE???

Shit I hope not. I'm going to have to start working in film again. I'm hard wired for it. There is no way around it.

Disney Princess---I better be a good one!!!!

Cinderella:
[ ] One of your parents is dead
[x] You are expected to do a lot of chores
[x] You love to dress up
[x] You love animals
[ ] You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming
[] Your mom is really strict
[ ] You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you
[] You’re afraid to speak your mind sometimes
[] You have left your shoes at a friend’s house before
[ ] You have blonde hair
TOTAL: 3

Belle:
[] You speak French
[]You’ve been lost in the forest
[x] You love to read
[ x] You are not afraid to speak your mind
[] One of your family members is a bit weird
[x] You have done volunteer work
[x] You have a wild imagination
[x] You love to take care of people in need
[ x] You’ve had guys like you only because they think you’re pretty
[x] You’ve rejected at least one person when they’ve asked you out
TOTAL: 7

Jasmine:
[] Your dad is very rich/important
[x ] You are very clever
[ x] You’ve been with someone way different from you
[x] You’re unique and different from everyone else
[x] You’d never marry someone just because they were rich
[x] You have set a lot of goals for yourself
[ ] You don’t have a lot of friends
[x]You’re independent
[ ] You are wealthy
[x]Your parents try to control your life
TOTAL: 7

Ariel
[x] Your parents expect a lot from you
[] You really try to follow the rules, but it’s hard for you
[] You’re a bit of a trouble maker
[x ] You’re the youngest in your family or in the last 2
[] You have a lot of sisters (3 or more)
[x] You collect something
[] You have/had long, hair
[x] You have/had a pet fish
[] You’re extremely curious
[] You believe everything people tell you/you’re a bit gullible
TOTAL: 4

Snow White
[x ] You know that you’re beautiful
[ ] Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you
[ ] You’ve almost been killed
[ x] You have at least seven good friends
[x] You’ve had food poisoning
[x] You have/had short hair
[x] You get along with almost everyone
[x] All of your friends are different
[x] You love to have a good time
[ ] You’re happier when you’re out of the house than in
TOTAL: 7

Mulan
[] You can be a tomboy sometimes.
[ ] People wish you could be a bit more girly
[] You’ve pretended to be someone you’re not
[] You’ve had a physical fight with someone
[x] You have/had considered running away from home
[] Your parents try to plan your life out
[x] a lot of your friends are boys
[ ] You sometimes find yourself in bad situations
[x] You love your family so much that you’d do anything to protect them
TOTAL: 3

Aurora
[x] You live/have lived with someone other than your parents
[ ] You almost died at a very young age
[x] You are gentle, loving, and/or thoughtful
[x] You have a decent singing voice
[] You like to sleep in late on the weekends
[ ] You spend most of your time outside
[ ] You’re adopted
[x] You’re very romantic
[] Pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL: 4


Pocahontas
[x] You love to walk around and explore big cities
[x] You are more spiritual than religious
[] You’ve been in an interracial relationship
[] One of your family members is dead (mom, dad, sister, brother, grandma, grandpa)
[] Your parents are very protective of you
[x] Someone you know has been in war
[x] You love nature
[x] You have/had black hair
[x] You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful
[x] You’re very adventurous
TOTAL: 7

Well that was a bust. I'm Belle Jasmine Snow White Pocahontas. How's that for a long name!

Create your album cover

To Do This

1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Quotations Page and select "random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop (I used Microsoft's "Paint" accessory) or similar to put it all together.

Well it looks like my music will sound very similar to Enya if the cover has anything to do with it...

HOLY AMAZING NEWS

I just found out that my urban mishpacha might be living in the same city FINALLY!!!!!!!

Urban Mishpacha = Urban Family, those who are not blood relatives but can be your sisters because you've spent so much time together people would think you grew up together/ you even start to resemble each other.

Now, how are my Urban Mishpacha? Well, I have a few peeps. Two of which will NOT be living in said city, which is muchas sad. Those two are Eva and Koop. *single tear* Unless Eva wants to move back and Koop wants to go to grad school there!

Who are these other amazing women I call my Urban Mishpacha?

• Stephanie- She has been my best friend and resident "calmer downer" of me since my senior year in High School. Since I moved to Israel, then Chicago, then LA we haven't lived in the same city since my sophomore year of College. She now lives in NY after having been a teacher in Teach for America and now she works for Scantron. I love her.
  
• Whitney- She has been my best friend since I lived in Chicago and we fell in love in Toronto, CA. That is when, as we say, "our love blossomed". Since I moved to LA, which was only supposed to be for 5 weeks and ended up being 2 years, we haven't lived in the same city. She currently lives in Jerusalem, Israel attending Pardes. She learned yesterday that she was accepted into Columbia Graduated school of Social Work. I'm so proud of her!
  
• Lauren- She has been my best travel buddy since Summer '08 when we staffed our first birthright trip. After that trip, despite living in the same city, I only saw her a handful of times, one of which spending shabbat with her family in the OC. Even though we have only spent 2 birthright trips and a handful of times outside of that together, those two birthright trips really made us close. We REALLY are like sisters. In fact, on our last BRI trip one of the guys said that he thought we hated each other for the first 2 hours we were in Israel because we were fighting, then after that he thought we were best friends. That's how we are. She's like my little sister. She lives in Brooklyn with her bro.
  
• Tanya- She can't really be called my Urban sister because she really IS my sister. (Actually my cousin, but in Serbian there is no word for cousin, so she's always been called me sister). She lives in Jersey City, but will be moving in with her boyfriend, Go Diego Go, in about Harlem-ish, shortly.
  

I have been thinking about moving to NY ever since the New Year of 2009. I now know that I HAVE to do it. It will be hard at first but at least I have great friends/family to help me through it.

Peace,
Jessi

Soundtrack of my life

this one is cool, WAY cool.



1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

2. Put it on shuffle

3. Press play

4. For the first question, type the song that's playing

5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE

6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...just type it in man!

7. IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE


OPENING CREDITS – Complexity by The Roots Feat. Jill Scott

WAKING UP – Title and Registration by Death Cab for Cutie

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL – Waiting to Die by Mickey Avalon

FALLING IN LOVE – Hold you in my arms by Ray LaMontagne (I swear!!)

LOSING VIRGINITY – Sunday Arak by Balkan Beat Box

FIGHT SONG – Book of Ruth by Adam Weinberg

BREAKING UP – Father Song by Keaton Simons

PROM – Don't stand so Close to me by Sting & the Police

LIFE – Fergalicious by Fergie Feat. Will.i.am

MENTAL BREAKDOWN – Umbrella by Rihanna feat. Jay-Z

DRIVING – Shemesh by Beit HaBubot

FLASHBACK – Jesus Walks by Kanye West

GETTING BACK TOGETHER – Call it off by Tegan and Sara

WEDDING – Come around by M.I.A feat Timbaland

BIRTH OF A CHILD – Af Echad by Hadag Nachash

FINAL BATTLE – Tears Dry on Their own (live) by Amy Winehouse

DEATH SCENE – Absolutely Nothing by Lily Allen

FUNERAL - HaFinali by Subliminal ve H'tzel

END CREDITS – Wrong Side of Goodbye by Keaton Simons


I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!

smells like 7th grade

for real, there's a woman who I encounter on a daily basis who, I kid you not, smells like 7th grade. Remember when you were in 7th grade and Bath and Body Works only had 3 scents? Well, this one smells like Country Apple. It's not bad, it just seems so...jr. high, so still smell like country apple! Anyway, it takes me back

I flew into a war zone

My love for Israel was clearly tested two weeks ago. I was set to staff another birthright trip, and about 4 days before we left war broke out. I never thought about not putting myself on the plane, neither did my parents or my friends. I was severely worried that the trip would be canceled because of a lack of participants. Luckily only two of the 40 participants believed what they saw on CNN.

This trip, war or not, was THEE best birthright trip ever. All of the participants were interesting, smart, mature and nurturing. They let Lauren and I into the group with open arms; we weren't seen as "narcs" but rather two girls their age who have been here before- who have lived under these circumstances before and who can help answer their questions. I was so thrilled to meet them, every single one of them is an amazing person.

I got to see Whitney and meet her Yonz, I got to see Danielle who played a rousing game of Jewish Geography with Ethan (who knows two girls I went on EIE with in 2000). I made seriously good friends and one seriously beautiful and "annoying" little sister (love you Lauren!)

Sometimes, the best friends are made under bad situations. We were in a bad situation, and we bonded more because of it. That's not to say that if we weren't in a warzone we would not be such good friends, but our friendships were hastened a bit.


I am proud to be part of Israel Outdoors 177 "In Israel we don't say goodbye, we saw see you- Ze Ma she Hi amra"

Peace and Love
Jess